kgharney

OK, maybe I am not neutral on this topic, but I do know a lot of pastors and most of them are wonderful people. They serve faithfully, work hard, love God and people, and take a lot of grief…usually with real grace.

So, be nice to them. Send a word of encouragement. Thank them for how they serve. Don’t be picky and bossy. Let them know they are loved.

Recently I was preparing to preach a sermon on forgiveness. As I was preparing, my mind wandered back to other times I have preached on this challenging topic over the past three decades. Often I have been accosted after preaching on forgiveness. I have received letters, calls, and face-to-face confrontations with people who were upset because I told them they were expected to grow in forgiveness. I declared that God calls them to learn how to forgive, even when it is hard.

The topic of forgiveness is among what I call “The Big Three.” These are the biblical topics that seem to act like a stick hitting a hornet’s nest. Can you guess the other two topics? They are biblical sexuality…people really get upset over this one. Also, the topic of Christian finances seems to push lots of buttons.

I suppose I will always have a bit of a flinch response every time I preach on one of “The Big Three.” But can I give you a word of exhortation? The next time your pastor dares to wander into the minefield of one of these topics, be nice. Thank them for being courageous. Affirm their boldness. Cheer them on for preaching what the Bible teaches.

Be nice to your pastor!

There is an old saying, “Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

The point is obvious. When we let bitterness, hurt, and past pain rent a room in our heart, we pay the price, and it is often a steep one! I met a pastor’s wife who had been deeply hurt by a church her husband had served. When I heard the story, I could see why it had been a season of significant pain and sorrow…but it had happened two decades ago.

Her husband had forgiven. He had let it go. He had moved on!

She had not.

He did not let unforgiveness move into his life and become a permanent guest. He walked in grace, even when it was a hard walk. He decided to evict bitterness from his heart and let the fresh wind of forgiveness refresh his soul. Sadly, his wife had grown more angry, hurt, and bitter with the passing years.

This woman chewed on her resentment like glass and there was vengeance in her eyes every time she brought up how badly they had been treated by “that church”…and it seemed to come up almost every time she opened her mouth.

One Sunday I had the audacity to preach about forgiveness. Mostly I quoted the words of Jesus, the Apostle Paul, and other texts of the Bible. She came up to me after the sermon with thinly veiled rage. After explaining why the biblical call to forgiveness did not apply to her, she clenched her teeth and growled, “I will never forgive them!” Unfortunately, she was true to her word.

Many Christians believe their circumstances exempt them from forgiving. In their mind, the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:12-15) and in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35) simply don’t apply to them.

Let me give three brief reasons why it is always wise to forgive.

1) When we forgive we show the presence, heart, and grace of Jesus to people who do not deserve it. The truth is, no one deserves forgiveness. We did not deserve the grace God offered in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, but God gave it freely. When we forgive others, Jesus is present and this is always a good thing.

2) We declare to heaven and earth that we understand the greatness of the grace we have received in Jesus. Not only does forgiveness show the presence of Jesus, it reveals something about us. When I realize that I have been forgiven an infinite debt against an infinite God, I want to forgive. I am compelled. I feel selfish when I don’t forgive. Every time I forgive someone else, God looks at me and sees a child who understands His grace in a new and deeper way.

3) We set ourselves free from the prison of unforgiveness. Like the pastor’s wife I mentioned earlier, we can choose to stay a prisoner of bitterness, anger, and past hurt. Or, we can forgive and discover that this act of grace unlocks the shackles of hatred and vengeance and opens the door of a dark and lonely place called unforgiveness. We are healed and released from bondage when we forgive.

Forgiveness is never easy. It costs. If you are not sure, ask the greatest forgiver in the history of the world, Jesus. He paid an infinite price. Now we get to show that we understand the greatness of His gift by forgiving those who sin against us. This might be one of the greatest opportunities to act, live, and look like Jesus.

To dig deeper into this topic, see the sermon I preached recently on forgiveness: Click on Week 2 of our Seeds of Truth Series videos.

Ask yourself a question, “Do I have to forgive that person?”

Who comes to your mind when you think about the call to forgive? Who is your “That Person”?

Who has wronged you? Who said, “I will be with you no matter what…through the good and bad times,” and then they bailed out on you? Who betrayed your trust? Who is that person who should have protected you but they hurt you instead…and they hurt you badly! Who ripped you off in a business deal, lied to you, took advantage of you, or neglected you?

That is the person God wants you to forgive!

In Matthew 18 we read about Jesus teaching his disciples the importance of forgiveness and restored relationships. After Jesus gave a simple process to walk through to make sure we do everything possible to live with healed and healthy relationships, Peter came up to the Savior and asked if he should forgive up to seven times.

This specific number might seem strange to the modern reader but it was actually a generous and offer. In Peter’s day the religious leaders taught that a good and religious person need only forgive three times:

“He who begs for forgiveness from his neighbor must not do so more than three times.” – Rabbi Jose ben Hanina

“If a man commits an offense once, they forgive him; If he commits an offense a second time, they forgive him; If he commits an offense a third time, they forgive him; the forth time they do not forgive.” – Rabbi Jose ben Jehuda

In light of the religious norm in Peter’s day, he was actually being generous. Peter doubled the number of times people normally forgave and then added one more for good measure! He must have expected Jesus to affirm his lavish offer to forgive with such reckless abandon…up to seven times!

The response Peter received must have put him back on his heals. Jesus said, “Not seven times but seventy.” (or seven times seventy) No matter how we translate the number, the point is the same. Jesus was saying, we are to forgive, and forgive, and then forgive more. We are to extend the same opulent and abundant grace that we have received through faith in Jesus Christ.

Christians forgive…it is what we do.

Who is “That Person” in your life? When you ask the question, “Do I really have to forgive that person?” who comes to your mind. Make a decision to pray for strength to forgive them and ask God to help you share the very grace God gave you when you did not deserve it.

To dig deeper into this topic, see the sermon I preached recently on forgiveness: Click on Week 2 of our Seeds of Truth Series videos.

God answers every prayer. Sometimes He says, “Yes,” at other times He says, “No,” and there are times, in His wisdom, God calls us to wait. How should we respond when God says, “No”?

If we believe God is sovereign and gracious, we should trust Him. We should walk forward with a bold confidence. We should believe that His “No” is a reflection of the heart of a loving Father who knows what is best for His children.

In my journey of faith over the past three and a half decades I have experienced times I have prayed with bold confidence that I knew what I needed and what God should do. I prayed in faith. I prayed in the Name of Jesus.

In some cases, God said, “No!”

Each time this happened I was disappointed and sometimes discouraged. I trusted God. I did not stop loving Him. But I did feel bad.

In some of these situations I was able to look back after months and actually see the wisdom of God’s ways. I later thanked Him for answering my prayer with a divine, “No.” In other cases I have not yet come to understand who God has said, “No.” But, I do trust His sovereign wisdom. I know He is on the throne.

As you draw near to God and walk with Him, know that God wants you to come to Him in prayer and ask of Him. He always hears you. He always cares. And, He will always answer. When He says, “Yes,” be sure to thank Him. When He says, “No,” walk with trust that He knows what is best and thank Him for loving you enough to say, “No” when it is the best thing for you.